Ever meet someone, and you instantly feel an uncomfortable sense of attraction/repulsion?  Something feels a little off, but you still find yourself intrigued – maybe even obsessed with this person? Maybe you only remain friends, and maybe they have an undeniable interest in you, or you in them, but you feel deeply uncomfortable with the prospect of any romantic involvement? I mean, this is so subjective in terms of how you interpret the energy, but I’m going to take a wild stab that 75% of the time, you have just encountered a Plutonic relationship.

Pluto is considered a transpersonal planet, or a generational planet, since it moves only a few degrees per year. It remains in a sign for about 13-15 years, bonding a generation of people with whatever flavor that particular sign extracts. With my generation, Pluto in Libra, the scales emerged to create a sense of equality between the sexes. Independence tasted a lot sweeter than it had before. Feminism took a front seat, more people started marrying for love rather than necessity and the social paradigm of “together but separate” became generally more accepted.

Pluto in Cancer (1913-1939) was my grandparents generation. In the sign of Cancer, Pluto wants to nest for life. Domesticity came to the forefront, and people started believing that togetherness was crucial to survival. Then my parents’ generation came along, the Pluto in Leos (1939-1956), and suddenly selfhood was on the table.  “What’s best for me?” became a mantra.  Self help became acceptable reading material, because without knowing what you want as an individual, how can you live your best life? Moreover, how can you give your best self to the person you love if you aren’t happy? Needless to say, divorce became more popular. The Cancer model of “together forever” wasn’t working for them.

If Pluto is generational, then what is a Plutonic relationship? Forgive the tangential way my brain works, but these various shades of Pluto in different signs are relevant:

Pluto in Cancer: domesticity is life   

Pluto in Leo: what’s mine is yours   

Pluto in Virgo: let’s try to be perfect       

Pluto in Libra: equality is love   

Pluto in Scorpio: bonding is life   

Pluto in Sagittarius: don’t fence me in           

Pluto in Capricorn: we are responsible   

Pluto in Aquarius: let’s subvert the paradigm    

Pluto in Pisces: love is all there is 

Pluto in Aries: I am most important   

Pluto in Taurus: let’s be comfortable    

Pluto in Gemini: let’s share ideas

Back to Pluto in Libra. Because my generation is constantly balancing independence and togetherness, you throw Pluto in the relationship mix and suddenly there’s an unexpected depth. Pluto is the modern ruler of Scorpio, after all. 

Let’s say you have natal Pluto in Libra at 10 degrees. You meet someone with natal Pluto at 24 degrees Libra and you have natal Venus at 24 degrees Aries. A hard aspect like an opposition with Aries and Libra is the most difficult to harness, since Aries’ default is fiery independence and Libra’s default is flirtatious togetherness. They are polar opposites.

Pluto wants Venus, but Venus is concerned about the intensity with which Pluto wants them.  You both doubt each other. A dance of denial ensues. There are mind-games, power-plays, but once you do cross the barriers of friendship into romance, the intensity is overwhelming. Then there are more mind-games and power-plays. You hurt each other. You desire each other. The Pluto partner acts like they don’t care in order to lure Venus into an all-consuming relationship. Venus feels victimized; crazy. Powerless.

Pluto tells Venus they need therapy. Venus feels a kind of rage and intensity they’ve never felt before. The physical bond is powerful, despite the abusive aspects. It’s that throw-your-panties-on-the-stage feeling mixed with the sudden, horrific realization that now you aren’t wearing any panties. Yikes.

If you haven’t experienced this, then this might sound completely foreign to you. Significant Pluto relationships might affect only a small percentage of the world’s population; however, they can affect a lot more people in relationships with larger age gaps.  Let’s say you have Venus or Mars in early degrees of Sagittarius, Virgo, Gemini or Pisces, and you meet someone with Pluto in early degrees of Sagittarius or Virgo. I’m referring to the hard aspects here (conjunction, opposition and square).

The closer the degree, the more intense.  Or you have Venus or Mars in Scorpio, Leo, Taurus or Aquarius and you meet someone with Pluto in Scorpio or Leo with a tight degree (0-6) orb in hard aspect (conjunction, opposition and square) to your personal planet(s). The natal Sun or Moon can also produce intensity with Pluto in synastry, but I’ve found it to be a little less intense than Venus and/or Mars.

Pluto relationships, while intense, can create strong bonds when two participants are willing to surrender. If you can learn how to trust each other and deal with the intense emotions of possession, jealousy and anger, this relationship will transform you in ways that you actually might want to be transformed. But it isn’t really about harmony. No relationship will teach you more about your shadow self than this one.

Whatever you are repelled by in your partner is a trait in yourself you have denied. If passion is more important to you than harmony, then this relationship is for you – but tread cautiously. Most people do want harmony as an end result – not constant upheaval/transformation. At some point in life, you are meant to distill your true essence, and difficult relationships help you do that. Pluto helps to destroy the illusion of duality. The mirror has two faces, as the expression goes.

A celebrity example of a Pluto relationship with a happy ending would be Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. They had quite a few harmonious conjunctions like Sun conjunct Moon, Ascendant Conjunct Ascendant and Venus Conjunct Ascendant that can’t be overlooked when looking at their compatibility. Joanne’s Pluto at 17 degrees Cancer opposed Paul’s Venus at 14 degrees Capricorn, opposed his Mercury at 13 Capricorn and squared his Mars in Aries at 23 degrees, which could manifest as Paul feeling controlled or possessed by Joanne; however, his Mercury-Venus conjunction to her Ascendant signifies that he idealized her. 

The long periods of separation during the months of working on films probably allowed their more difficult aspects some breathing room. They were married for 50 years, and while they had remarkable synastry and had one of the longest successful marriages in Hollywood, we cannot overlook the fact that they were both born with Pluto in Cancer– the generation that cherishes domesticity. We might see that kind of longevity again when the Pluto in Capricorn generation get married, but it certainly is a rarity these days.